How to increase self-love



In the last couple of years, I've gone through so many changes within myself. The biggest changes have been the way I see things and the way I allow for things to be around me. It took awhile to make this a habit without the guilt of it, but I can finally say that I (more or less) know the thing that make me happy and that keep me going.


The key word is: Self-love.


Change how you talk to yourself


In this social-media oriented world we live in, I've noticed so many posts about "being in your 20s and still being single", "being in your 20s and being confused"; and they almost always portray someone who shows themselves as sloppy, and never completely satisfied - and most of them always compare to "their friends who are moving onto their next steps". I've also noticed the person portraying this "meme" or "tiktok" is always showing off this goofy side. I know this is meant to be funny, and a lot of those posts on social media are strictly meant to be laughed at, but I think there's a bad messaging here. People end up relating to it, and send these posts to their friends by saying "OMG! This is so you!" or "OMG! This is so me" - the point of it is, why are you allowing yourself to identify as just that?


This way of thinking is extremely limited and overshadows who you are and what you're capable of. So what if you're in your 20s and you haven't found your partner yet. So what if you're in your 20s and you still don't know what you want to do with your life?

These messages become part of your identity.


Change the narrative. Talk to yourself as you would talk to your best friend.


Being confused about your next steps in life could easily be replaced with "I am growing and I am seeing where life takes me".

Not having a partner can easily be replaced with "I know what I want. I won't settle for less".

Not having your dream job can easily be replaced with "I'm working hard and I'm closer to my dream everyday".

Feeling lazy can easily be replaced with "my body and my mind are telling me to take it easy today".


The point of it is, even if it's said as a joke, it ends up describing your identity!


Set boundaries


Have you ever been in a situation where you want to say no but end up saying yes out of fear of upsetting the person? Or you felt like someone was taking advantage of you, but again, out of the fear of upsetting the person, you just accept it? Or, the most obvious one, if you ever had someone take over your time, more than they should?


This is old. It's time to put your foot down and know your limit on what works for you, and what's acceptable to you.


Spoil yourself daily


Do something that would make you glow, every single day. It doesn't have to be something extravagant. But, if you're craving a meal, just go eat it. If you want to have a bubble bath for the second time in a row in 1 week, go ahead. This is your body and mind's way of telling you that this is what you need.

It might be super cliche - but do something that your future self will thank you for.


Disclaimer: All in moderation. If you've been craving a burger every day for a week, doesn't mean it's always the right choice.


Invest in hobbies


Everyone has an interest that stimulates them. Investigate and notice what makes you the happiest.


Get some zzz


This one is self-explanatory. The more sleep you get, the more your body is relaxed, and the more your mind is happy.


Note to self:


At the end of the day, self-love has a different meaning to everyone. What makes you happy might not have the same effect on someone else. The thing to keep in mind is - just because you see a trend on social media, or ways to become "that" person, listen to it only if it resonates with you. Only you can become a better version of yourself.